


the envious moon

by pumpkinpaperweight



Category: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Rivals to Lovers, for @wheresmerlin bc I promised her this 40 billion years ago, my first foray into first person!, out of my usual style actually but idk we'll see how you guys like it hh, romeo and juliet motifs bc it was on my floor and I saw it whilst I was writing, sorry evie hhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24966163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkinpaperweight/pseuds/pumpkinpaperweight
Summary: (do you quarrel, sir? / quarrel, sir? no, sir. /  but if you do, sir, I am for you. / I serve as good a man as you. / no better / well, sir / say better, here comes one of my master's kinsmen / yes, better, sir / you lie.)--two dance schools, both alike in dignity.Sophie really, REALLY wants to be chosen as legendary dancer August Sader's protégé.The only person in her way is Nicola.
Relationships: Agatha/Tedros (The School for Good and Evil), Nicola/Sophie (The School for Good and Evil), Sophie & Tedros (The School for Good and Evil)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 55





	the envious moon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wheresmerlin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheresmerlin/gifts).



_ Agatha if you find this and read past this page I will know and I will flay you alive  _

Dear Diary, 

I, Sophie, hate Nicola.

That's it. Send tweet. Full stop. End of story. 

There's not a jot more to it.

Teddy would try and tell me, in his…  _ infinite wisdom _ , there's a  _ lot _ more to it, but I've tuned Tedros out for 14 years whenever we're not dancing, and I'm not going to tune him back in now.

(Well,  _ briefly, _ I paid very close attention to him when I thought he was into me, but what he was actually doing was trying to get dating advice from me. It was a mess. I digress.)

The point is, I hate Nicola, Nicola hates me, and that is  _ that. _

Have we ever actually met, talked face to face, or seen each other for more than five seconds? ...not as such.

But we're rival protégés of rival teachers, who run rival dance schools, and we have rival colours, and--

You see, diary, where this is going. It's a bit  _ Romeo and Juliet _ , Agatha says. I don't think Romeo and Juliet made a habit of cyberbullying each other on Twitter, but what do I know (or care) about literature?

Today's highlights of my twitter campaign against Lesso School of Dance include:

  * Replied _flops, can't even do an arabesque lmao_ under their most recent tweet. 50 likes as of 20:54 PM. 
  * Blocked three more dancers when they tried to argue with me
  * Made another new account just in case the Lesso account blocks me again



Teddy told me I should be practicing more but, as I said, I don't listen to Teddy. Anyway, he wasn't practicing himself, just looking for some miniscule blemish on his flawless face in the mirror. 

And he says I'm vain.

* * *

(Later, 22:35 PM)

Dear Diary, 

I HATE NICOLA; 

@nicolapofficial ** _replied to your tweet:_** _you need a comma after "flops"... but I suppose you're too busy practicing after your recent trainwreck of a show to think about basic grammar, right?_

I threw my phone so hard I chipped the screen. 

See? I don't  _ need  _ to know Nicola to hate her. Not when she swoops in with things like that. I have done  _ nothing _ to her! 

I fumed the whole way home. (And blocked her. And all her accounts I could find.) Teddy did his usual insufferable sauntering behind me. Despite what he thinks my Twitter spats are (something vaguely entertaining to catch up with on the toilet,  _ apparently _ ) I consider them a noble endeavour, protecting my school's reputation and simultaneously smearing the other school in the process. And it's not as if it's discouraged, either.  _ Everyone _ knows that Clarissa Dovey and Leonora Lesso actively foster their student's rivalry, because they had their own when  _ they _ were dancers. 

Though I suppose, in Dovey and Lesso's esteem, it's a... friendly thing.

As we were walking, Hester, vile thing, bellowed across the road from where all the Lesso dancers were stood; 

"DISCOUNT NICOLA! HOW'S YOUR FOOT?"

And I decided that I do not simply  _ hate _ Nicola. I  _ detest _ her.

* * *

Dear Diary,

Well, I asked Agatha if she told Nicola about my foot injury, and she shirks all responsibility. As the neutral party in this whole… _ arrangement _ (Old schoolmates with Nicola, roommates with me), she was the only link I could see. She says she did not. 

(What she actually said was "what the fuck? No. Get out of my face and make me a coffee." But such things are paltry details.) Given her refusal to let either of us use her to spy on the other, I suppose she's telling the truth. So I may have to retract my  _ detest _ back to simple  _ hate _ .

But her thesis for how Hester knew, if not through Nicola? Blew the whole thing out of the water.

Her sallow hand slid out from under the duvet and showed me her horrible old, cracked, phone.

"Guess you've not been on Twitter." She said.

I had _absolutely_ been on Twitter, and realised that it was the tweet I replied to (68 likes, this morning.) I hadn't actually read it. It was a link to an article: 

**_Dance legend August Sader announces intention to choose a protégé from a pool of students from two esteemed dance schools_ **

Not just any two dance schools.

_ My school. _

(And Lesso's, but they're so far beneath us that it's honestly a  _ farce _ they were chosen to compete against us.) 

So I scrolled down, and there Tedros and I were, right at the top.

I suppose I must have looked happy, because Agatha groaned. 

"You want to get it so you can rub it in Nicola’s face, don't you?" 

"Aggie.” I said. “You don't get it."

"I do absolutely get it."

I could tell I was stretching her patience somewhat, but she was foolish to assume she understood.

"You don't.” I said. “This can prove, once and for all, that  _ I'm _ the better dancer. That I'm the better protégé. That I'm more skilled than  _ her _ ."

"Mhm." said Aggie, ever the orator. 

"It's  _ perfect!”  _ I told her. _ “ _ We'll have to start practicing immediately! Is there a show, or--"

"If you'd actually  _ read _ the article,” Agatha told me. “You'd know that he'll come and observe you all in practice, sometime in the next few weeks, and see how you interact with other dancers, then the schools will put on a joint show when he'll make his final decision--"

I may have cut her off, a teensey bit loudly--

“JOINT?”

"THEY'RE NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU THE PLAGUE!" Agatha bellowed back at me, emerging at last from beneath the covers like some anaemic, goth grizzly bear, and towering me in an unholy rage. "IT’S DIFFERENT, SEPARATE PERFORMANCES AT THE SAME EVENT. STOP BEING CHILDISH!"

“You make memes about this and send them to Teddy.” I pointed out. 

"I MAKE THEM BECAUSE I DON'T TAKE IT  _ SERIOUSLY _ ! BECAUSE I'M NOT STUPID! IF YOU'RE SO WORRIED, STOP WHINING AND  _ PRACTICE _ !"

Well, I told her in no uncertain terms that I  _ had  _ been at practice all day--

"I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU FIGHT WITH NICOLA ON TWITTER!  _ ALL DAY _ !" 

I considered such petty arguments beneath me, so I changed the subject;

“What does this have to do with my foot, anyway?”

"Hell if I know. Someone probably just mentioned it offhand there and it got spread around." 

"Why did they choose  _ mine  _ to make fun of?” I asked. "Teddy was with me. They could have gone for  _ his _ ."

"Because you spend all your time making an enemy of them?” pointed out Agatha. “They don't care for Tedros, they just think he's dumb. Also, Tedros's injury is a really common one.” 

(He has a hip problem which he whines about all the time. I don’t really concern myself with it.)

Agatha made me go make her a coffee, which was rich considering she already had one, but apparently she wanted another one. It was for  _ putting up with me,  _ so she said. She doesn’t deserve me, but I don’t expect her to realise that. 

* * *

Dear Diary,

I  _ hate _ Nicola. Now more than ever.

I didn't realise it when I talked to Agatha, but the second she got into practice the next day, I realised;

It's between the two of us.

Opposing protégés, one favoured by Sader's ex-colleague, the other by his ex-student? It’s common sense.

I texted Agatha as much.

_ *Vanity  _ reads the reply.

**_What?_ **

_ It's not common sense, it's vanity. There's another half a dozen people on each list _

**_It's not vanity!_ **

_ I'm making pasta for dinner, so either suck it up or make your own food. Going for my shift now _

I wrote several replies, which she stoutly ignored;

**_Aggie you know I can't cook_ **

**_Aggie don't ignore me_ **

**_This is your way of telling me I'm being selfish, isn't it?_ **

**_Agatha!_ **

So, cursing my roommate, I put down my phone and appealed to Beatrix, stretching next to her. Initially, she agreed it sounded vain. Then she noticed me glaring at her and backtracked, agreeing we were the most likely candidates. She warned me off of underestimating Nicola-- which I would  _ never  _ do-- but then that vapid old Anemone came in.

"Then why, pray tell, have you been telling everyone that  _ we've got it in the bag _ , and everyone at Lesso's is useless?"

I tried to tell her it was team spirit, but she ignored me.

"Dovey wants to see you two. I think you're the only people she hasn't seen today."

I assume it’s to congratulate us. Will write later.

* * *

(Later, 22:00)

It was not to congratulate us.

I can’t fathom how we could be going  _ bankrupt!  _ All of our shows (except for the farcical Christmas Incident) have sold very well. Successes!

Dovey had looked about a thousand years old, though-- apparently, not as successful as she’d hoped. Not enough students, so not enough money. I suggested fundraisers, extra shows, but she shot me down.

As it turns out, the school Sader's protégé is selected from gets a huge grant. As well as a  _ lot _ of publicity. We'd have enough money and enough students to keep going. The money's not an issue right now, given the show will be a joint one with Lesso's students and Leonora has kindly agreed to cover the bulk of the costs, but once it’s over...

Well, Diary, there’s nothing for it. I need to win.

Oh, and Agatha caved to pressure and made me my carrot soup. I suppose she may have felt sorry for me. Tedros called her about it, she said. I didn’t know she and Teddy spoke so much.

I felt a little guilty, though; I haven’t even seen any of the others, bar Beatrix, because I’d come home straight away after the meeting with Dovey. But I should have sought out Tedros. We shared our childhoods in the halls of the school, and he’ll probably have taken it just as hard as me.

Only without all the pressure, probably.

Agatha said he seemed pretty torn up about it. Then she’d told me to eat my soup and stop moping. I did it without objection, which must be rare, because Agatha eyed me from above whatever carb-loaded pan contained her own food. 

"Guess you're  _ really _ upset about it, huh?"

"She didn't even  _ hint _ at it until now." I told her, stirring my soup aimlessly. And it’s true; we’d had no inkling of it, beyond the fact that everything in the building’s a year or two out of fashion-- but it’s functional, and well-maintained, so no one had seen any real reason to complain. Or suspect. "We could have helped." 

Agatha slammed her plate down opposite me and plonked herself into her chair.

" _ We _ couldn't have, we're broke." 

“I’d meant a fundraiser or something.”

I looked unhappily at Agatha. I’d thought Junior Doctors were paid a lot when she first became one.

"Come back when I'm a surgeon." Agatha told me.

I sighed, and looked down at the table-- and found myself staring at Agatha’s plate.

"What's that?" I asked. 

"Carbonara.” Was the reply. “It's got dairy, carbs,  _ and _ meat. You'll hate it."

I am ashamed to admit I continued to stare.

Agatha muttered something that I didn’t catch about  _ doesn't pretend _ and  _ eats what I damn well give him _ , snatched my bowl, dumped it in the sink, and went back to the pan to get me a plate. 

"There's someone who actually eats your cooking besides me?" I asked, surprised.

"Do you  _ want _ to eat at all?" Demanded Agatha, slapping pasta onto the plate with far too much force. She looked oddly flushed, but I chalked it up to the heat of the stove.

Still, I demanded to know who it was. 

"...Reaper." said Agatha, returning with the plate. 

"Reaper's a food snob!"

"At least he's a  _ real _ food snob. Eat your stupid pasta." 

* * *

Dear Diary,

I, Sophie, hate Nicola, because everything is riding on it.

I tried to get Agatha to spy on Nicola for me, but the only thing she will tell me about her training techniques is that she trains for a long time. All the time. How is  _ that _ helpful?

Tedros pointed out that she probably didn’t know much, since it’s not as if she pays attention to what we do. But I think she knows  _ far  _ more than she acts like she does. 

"She mispronounces everything." Tedros argued, but I know she  _ definitely  _ does that on purpose. Aggie speaks three languages, and he thinks she doesn't know how to pronounce  _ arabesque _ ? She's just winding him up, probably trying to pick a fight. I suppose he really  _ does  _ annoy her. I told him as much and he looked rather crestfallen, but I didn’t really have time to deal with it. Training was  _ brutal,  _ today. Spent most of the day trying to break in my new pointe shoes, since I don’t want to be using some old, crusty pair in front of  _ August Sader.  _ Speaking of Sader, he’s coming in next week. He’ll see us first, which is a blessing in some ways, because it means he might be more attentive, but also a curse, because it means he might remember the Lesso students better. A double-edged sword. I’ll be busy training (I  _ need  _ to practice my fouettes) for the next few days, so I won’t write much, but I’ll be sure to record how it goes. 

* * *

Dear Diary,

Well, he was there, in his Armani suit. He’s aged very gracefully, as _any_ proper dancer should, and he was very polite. He wandered around and looked at everyone-- me with the rest of the Senior and Elite Division (Beatrix, Yara, Tedros’s little boy gang) and Teddy coaching the Junior Division (they like him best, which is good, because it means _I_ don’t have to deal with their snotty little tantrums whenever they get something wrong). He seemed pleased, but he always seems a little bit pleased, so I don’t really know what to think. He spoke to Dovey for a while, then left to go to Lesso’s. Waiting patiently for someone to coax what he’s told Dovey and Lesso out of Anemone, who is _very_ easily swayed by a cheap bottle of rosé-- wait, text from Beatrix--

_ Sader said many of the performances he saw today were “just outstanding”, and it was very hard to pick favourites.  _

_ Well.  _ That simply won’t do. He  _ needs  _ to pick a favourite, and it  _ needs  _ to be me. Perhaps he’s reluctant to show bias so early on. Yes, maybe that’s it. But still, I ought to practice more.  _ Even  _ more than I usually do. I’ll stay later, they’ll let me. They know how much is at stake.

* * *

Dear Diary,

Interesting developments. 

Dovey wouldn’t let me stay (the audacity!), but she pointed me to a different studio that remains open later, which I suppose is… acceptable. I was  _ expecting _ to be the only one there, but apparently not. There was another girl in there, which was initially a pain, because I was expecting some droll, mediocre dancer desperate to improve by dancing for far too long. How puerile. 

But as it turns out, there is nothing remotely droll or mediocre about Pippin. 

At first, I ignored her, and she ignored me, which was exactly how I liked it, but I kept catching her stealing glances at me in the mirror, and eventually I turned and asked her if we knew one another. 

Instead of getting embarrassed, she looked brazenly at me and announced she did, actually; I was Sophie Woods from Dovey’s School of Dance, wasn’t I?

Well, I’m always happy to be recognised by fans, so I became a little more receptive and said yes, I was.

“I don’t usually come to  _ other  _ studios,” I said. “But I’m putting in extra training hours to ensure I beat my rival.  _ I  _ need to be selected to be Sader’s prodigy, else we won’t have the money to keep the school open.”

She blinked at me.

“Oh-- I didn’t know your school had financial problems?”

I cursed my big mouth. 

“Well--” I smiled winningly. “Yes, but stay quiet about that, we don’t want Lesso’s dancers to find out, they’ll make fun.”

She frowned.

“Why would they make fun?”

“My rival is from that school, they’ll take  _ any _ opportunity to discredit me, and make sure I lose.”

“Who’s your rival?” she asked. 

“Nicola.” I said promptly. “I… don’t know her surname, but she’s Lesso’s best dancer.”

Before she could respond, it occurred to me to ask how she knew me, and what her name was. 

She looked a little surprised, no doubt at the fact that I was so friendly (they say never to meet your idols, but _I_ have time for everyone) but recovered herself quickly, telling me she follows me on social media, and her name is Pippin. Sweet name. She has a sweet face to match-- big dark eyes and flawless matching complexion-- but there’s little flashes of shrewdness in her expression. I appreciate a good misdirection (Teddy often tells me I _look like a baby angel but_ _you’re actually a proper git, stop kicking me on purpose--)_ so I was a little more interested. 

We did stretches together and made some small talk-- she’s the same age as me, and undoubtedly talented, though I don’t think I could say she’s  _ as  _ good as me. She was very interested in what I had to say about Lesso’s (who doesn’t love a good rivalry, right?) and we exchanged numbers and private Instagram accounts before going our separate ways. I hope I see her again.

Her  _ échappé sautés _ were exceptional, I have to admit. 

* * *

(Later)

@pippini started following you.

She  _ never _ posts anything, though. Well, that simply won’t do! I’ll teach her proper selfie technique. Angles, lighting, filters. Perhaps I’ll buy her a ring light. She has a lovely complexion and very symmetrical features, so it seems a waste for everyone to not be able to see them. 

* * *

Dear Diary,

It’s been a few weeks, and I’ve seen Pippin quite a few times, now. At first, it was just a coincidence, but soon after, we started making a little training schedule, which was very efficient, I thought. She’s very clever. Had my free nights memorised instantly and drew up a timetable that worked first time. Amazing memory for routines, too. She suggested we could give one another tips, which I thought was a little optimistic for her, but I said yes, so not to be rude. I’ve had lots of nice little chats with her. She works part time in her father’s pub, so she can afford her shoes and things. She’s very hardworking. It made me feel slightly guilty for just making my father buy me everything, I must say. 

Tonight, after we finished running separately through our routines, she suggested we go for a drink. There was a club just down the road, and she thought, since it wasn’t too late…

She looked a little uncertain when she offered, but I assured her it was a wonderful idea, and it was! We had a good chat (just about, the music was  _ very  _ loud) and you’ll  _ never  _ guess who I saw.

“Is that  _ Teddy?”  _ I demanded about halfway through my second gin and tonic, standing up suddenly and peering over the heads of the other people on the dancefloor. “Dancing with a  _ girl _ ? Who’s he with?”

Tedros hasn’t had a girlfriend for the looooongest time. He had a few boyfriends, but  _ that  _ went tits up since none of them could cope with his daddy issues and how he cries every time he watches  _ Spirited Away _ . He’s been sulking for ages about how his thing with that Kei guy ( _ so _ hot and stoic) didn’t work out (Kei dumped him for his stepbrother Rhian, ooooops. But Rhian is  _ also  _ smoking, and he’s noble as anything, so I don’t blame him. Teddy whines too much and he looks like a Ken doll that got stepped on when he hasn’t got makeup on, bless him.)

Unfortunately, he looked up and saw me, and immediately he looked at his girlfriend (?), horrified. She was mostly blocked from my view, disappointing.

“He doesn’t look happy to see you.” Pippin noted solemnly. “Not your boyfriend, is he?”

“ _ Teddy?  _ Oh, please.” I scoffed, craning my neck to get a good look at the girl. “ _ If  _ I were interested in men, I would  _ not  _ be interested in Tedros. I briefly convinced myself I was when I was fourteen because he has a nice set of muscles, but he’s  _ far  _ too annoying.”

I realised a few years ago I am most certainly  _ not  _ interested in boy _ s.  _ Just because I can appreciate a good aesthetic doesn’t mean I actually love them. Realised  _ that  _ one after Rafal said he wanted to marry me and I got blackout drunk trying to forget he said it. 

“Oh.” said Pippin, looking more cheerful. I  _ am _ rather witty when I want to be. “Well, is  _ that  _ his girlfriend?”

“I don’t know  _ who  _ that is.” I grumbled. “I’m going to find out. I’ll be right back, sweetie--”

I dove into the crowd on the dancefloor, but, disappointingly, when I arrived next to Tedros, Mystery Girl was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s your lady love?” I demanded. “ _ Who’s  _ your lady love?”

“Could ask the same thing of you.” Tedros said, eyeing Pippin sat at the bar. 

“Oh, that’s Pippin.” I said dismissively. “We’re training together. She’s a dear. Don’t you think she’s sweet? But stop changing the subject. I thought  _ you  _ were single.”

“What’s it to you?” groused Tedros. “I figured you’d make fun of me either way.”

“So you  _ are--” _

“I’m leaving, anyway.” said Tedros abruptly. “Good talk, Sophie.”

Before I could protest, he was disappearing into the crowd and making for the door. Disappointed, I headed back to Pippin to report my non-findings.

“Maybe he’s embarrassed.” she pointed out. “Would you make fun of him?”

Twelve years of making fun of Tedros for everything from his flopped relationships to his pathetic choice in boba tea flavours flashed before my eyes. 

“No.” I said. “How could he think that?”

Pippin raised her eyebrows.

“Even though you called him a querulous puppy earlier?”

“That was a  _ joke,”  _ I said, affronted. “I’d only  _ actually  _ criticise him if he was there to hear it, so he could better himself.”

Pippin grinned into her drink.

“I see.”

When I got back, Agatha was nowhere to be seen, presumably already gone to bed-- her bedroom door was closed and all the lights were off. Knowing how aggressive she got when disturbed (who knew Reaper bit on command?) I tried to be as quiet as possible. We’re doing costume fittings tomorrow, and I’d rather I  _ didn’t  _ have demon cat claw marks on my legs when I’m fitted for Juliet.

* * *

Dear Diary,

Costume fittings went well. They’re making Teddy be my Romeo, _obviously._ We’re the perfect team, because we’re repulsed by the idea of ever dating one another, so our relationship can be strictly professional and not end in drama and tears. But all _he_ had to do was wear tights and whatever billowing, unlaced shirt they threw at him and look anguished. Easy as pie. I think he has a pretty jacket for Capulet’s ball or something, but I don’t really care. _I_ had to cycle through all sorts of dresses whilst Anemone circled me, snapping her tape measure like a whip. Teddy did fouettes behind me and asked about Pippin. 

“I don’t understand why you  _ care.”  _ I told him after Anemone had deemed another dress unacceptable and whisked it off to change the hem length half a nano centimetre. “Besides, you wouldn’t tell me--”

“I have good reason not to.” said Tedros sternly. “But anyway, I  _ swear  _ Pippin looks familiar.”

“She looks like a  _ model.”  _ I said, easing into the splits. 

“She’s cute, but that’s not what I’m thinking of.” insisted Tedros. “I swear I’ve seen her before.”

“She lives locally.” I shrugged. “You probably have.”

Tedros frowned, but he didn’t press it anymore. 

After about thirty  _ million  _ hours, we finally landed on a final Juliet costume. I took a selfie and sent it to Pippin, and-- fun coincidence-- she returned one in a Giselle costume! She’d clearly been taking my selfie advice. Good. 

I spent the rest of the day bullying Lesso’s on Twitter and texting her. It’s important to destress, especially since the  _ entire  _ fate of this establishment is riding on me. 

“Do you think their show will be as good as ours?” I asked Teddy as we ran through a couple of scenes. Tedros looked thoughtful. 

“Depends what they’re doing. They’ll want to showcase their dancers, so if they choose well--”

“No, it’ll be shit.” said Reena, which was the sort of answer I was looking for. 

Tedros frowned. 

“I don’t think we should underestimate--”

We ignored him. Negativity is not what we’re about, at Dovey’s.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I haven’t written for almost a month! I’ve been so busy, what with practice and training with Pippin and everything to do with the show. I’ve barely seen Aggie and everyone at Dovey’s is on their last tether. I said as much to Pippin last week, and she admitted to feeling stressed, too-- so, tonight, we went for a walk! We bought burritos from the food truck outside of the park (usually I never would have entertained something with so many  _ carbs  _ but I let it slide since I was hungry and Pippin seemed so happy) and walked up the hill to the duck pond. We sat and threw beans to the ducks and watched the sunset. It was nice. Relaxing. I’ve been so caught up with the rivalry and the performances lately, it was a welcome opportunity to just be able to catch my breath. (Figuratively. I have wonderful lung capacity.) We talked about inconsequential things like her father’s pub, dance, her dog, and we had a lovely half an hour resoundly abusing her ex-boyfriend (who names their child  _ Hort?  _ Sounds like a fungus infection.) Unfortunately, I had to leave quickly after, because I realised I needed time to practice a few more moves, but she didn’t seem offended, she just laughed at me and waved me off a with a  _ good luck.  _

(Later, scribbled frantically in at 3am)

I think I’m in love with Pippin

How…  _ pathetic _ that sounds! It wasn’t even a date.

But it might be true.

Maybe.

Just a little. 

Perhaps I’ll tell her after the performance. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. After I’ve secured everything, and all my problems are solved, I’ll tell her. 

But first, I have to win.

* * *

Dear Diary,

Well, we’re nearly there. 2 days until the show, and the entire place is in chaos. Today, I had to deal with  _ Teddy  _ freaking out on me, just turning into a jittery mess on the practice room floor. 

“Why are  _ you  _ worried?” I snapped, irritated my Romeo was suddenly looking less like he was about to duel Tybalt and more like he needed to breathe into a paper bag. “You’re perfect. Besides, it’s not you who  _ should  _ be worried! Pull yourself together, darling, I  _ need  _ you for this-- what?”

Tedros glared at me.

“It may have slipped your mind,  _ darling,  _ but you’re not the only person in Dovey’s who’s been shortlisted for this.”

I stared at him for a second. 

I may have laughed.

“Oh,  _ Teddy.  _ Have you really been thinking you’re in the running to  _ win _ this?”

He immediately looked hurt, and I tried to backpedal;

“Well, I mean you  _ could,  _ but Nicola and I are the most  _ logical  _ options, you know, since we’re the two best dancers…” 

But the damage was already done, it seemed. Tedros stood abruptly, face blotchy with that ugly red colour he goes when he’s embarrassed. 

“So everyone seems to think. No one’s bothered to give  _ me  _ advice, or separate coaching, or chatter away about  _ me  _ and  _ my  _ achievements to Sader. I thought you’d understand. I thought you were just joking about you and Nicola being the only real competitors.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say, I admit. Of  _ course  _ I wasn’t joking. I don’t joke about things like this.

Before I could say anything else, he pushed past me and left the dance studio. I presume he went to practice on his own, probably his solo variations.

So yes, we’re not on great terms at the moment. I’m sure he’ll come around by the time we have to perform.

Speaking of, that will be the first time we meet the Lesso dancers. We’ve trained separately for the entire time, since we’re technically only performing on the same  _ stage,  _ not together, so why should we need to be in the same training space? Will I watch them. No. I’m confident enough in myself.

So, the next update you get will probably be once it’s all over, since Sader is announcing his choice right after the performance. Prepare for a triumphant entry! I’m sure everything will be fixed with Teddy, I will have secured the training for myself and the money for Dovey’s and I will have asked Pippin for that date!

* * *

Dear Diary

… well. 

Things did not go quite as expected. At all. I… don’t quite know how to begin. 

Well, I’ll start from when I arrived to get ready for the performance. I entered the theatre and marched past all the Lesso’s dancers who were being signed in, not bothering to give them a second glance even as I heard the names-- “Nicola Pipp, Hester Baumann, Anadil Jadis--” of the people I so badly needed to beat. I breezed straight past, heard my name--  _ and  _ saw their heads turn-- and went straight in to get changed. I was ready. I’d spent  _ weeks  _ practicing with Pippin, on my own, with Teddy-- 

Speaking of Teddy, it was very clear to me that he was trying desperately to pretend like the other day hadn’t happened. 

He caught me at the door and immediately warned me;

“Sader’s been wandering around. Best behaviour. We need you to win this.”

“Oh, I… right.” Then I frowned. “Wait, but you said--”

“You were right.” said Tedros tightly. “Come on, let’s go get ready. You  _ can _ win this.”

Not convinced he was completely happy, but glad he’d at least decided to accept it, I did as he said. We went and got ready. Lesso’s were going first-- usually, I would have minded, but I felt that going last made it more likely we’d stick in Sader’s mind more,  _ and  _ it gave us more time to prepare. 

“I think I’ll watch them.” said Tedros thoughtfully as the bell rung for Lesso’s dancers to head to the wings. 

I scoffed.

“Whatever for?”

Tedros shrugged.

“Just interested. They’re bound to be very good. Maybe I can learn something from them.”

I snorted, but was too busy putting my makeup on to really argue with him. I hadn’t heard from Pippin for a while; perhaps she was at work. She’d texted me good luck and that she hoped I won this morning, though, which counted for  _ something.  _

“What are they dancing?” I asked, mostly out of idle curiosity. Tedros promptly reeled off a list of classic programmes;

“Nutcracker group dance, principals are doing variations from Giselle and Sleeping Beauty, the little kids are doing some Cinderella thing--”

I scoffed. 

“Original.”

“Sophie, we’re doing Romeo and Juliet.”

I ignored him, since Beatrix and Reena had come rushing in to wish me good luck, Nicholas, Chaddick and Tarquin on their heels. 

“The Lesso dancers are about to start.” said Tedros, glancing at the clock. “Come on, Sophie, let’s go and watch them--”

“I’ll follow you later.” I dismissed, lacing my shoes up. “I need to finish getting ready.”

Tedros, clearly not fooled, rolled his eyes and left with Beatrix. Reena sat with me and helped me finish doing my hair--

“I really think you could win this.” she whispered to me, suddenly. “I bumped into Anadil in the corridor, we’re school friends, and she told me Nicola’s been acting really funny all week, so she might not be on good form.”

“ _ Really?”  _ I bolted up, grinning. “That’s great news. If she’s even the  _ tiniest  _ bit off, it’ll make me look a thousand times better.”

“Exactly.” grinned Reena. “You can do this. We’ll save the school.”

She gripped my hands and I squeezed back, thinking of how long we’d been training together-- all of us. Me, Reena, Tedros, Beatrix, Chaddick, Nicholas… we’d been in the same classes since we could toddle. I had to win it for them. 

We sat together, waiting, until the final round of applause signified it was time for us to go to the wings. 

I spotted Teddy instantly, looking uncertain next to Beatrix. I approached him, knowing we were on first and ready to reproach him into a proper attitude--

And walked straight into someone coming offstage.

I caught her arm to steady myself--

Then noticed the big brown eyes and dark skin. 

“Pippin!” I recognised her straight away, obviously. “I didn’t realise you were with Les--”

I realised a split second too late.

I registered the look on her face. The principal’s costume she was wearing. The spooked look on Tedros and Hester’s faces. 

Pippin.

@pippini.

Nicola Pipp. 

My realisation must have shown on my face, because Tedros and Beatrix shot one another panicked looks and Nicola grimaced. 

“Sophie...” she hesitated. “Sophie, listen, I only--”

A stagehand shouted a five minute warning for Dovey’s, and I took advantage of the interruption.

“This… this is some conspiracy.” I realised, slowly. ”Isn’t it? To try and throw me off. You tried to befriend me in order to try and find out my techniques, so you could beat me, and let our school go under--”

“Oh, for god’s sake.” muttered Hester behind me. 

“Stay out of this!” I snapped. Vile girl. “Pi-- Nicola, you  _ lied  _ to me.”

Nicola looked horribly pained. 

“I know, Sophie, but I really did want to be friends and I thought if you knew who I was you’d reject me--”

“Liar!”

“I’m not lying--!”

Tedros came to himself, and rushed over to grab me, dragging me over to the wings.

“Sophie, do this later, we’ve got to do this now--”

“No, I have to--”

“Do you want to win or not?” snapped Tedros. “Like you said, the school will go under if you don’t.”

That made me pause. 

I did want to win. Desperately.

I took a breath, yanked his hand off my arm, and plastered on a smile.

I didn’t look, but I know that Nicola watched us from the wings the whole time. 

If I’m honest, I don’t remember the performance well. If I was even more honest, I’d say Teddy carried me through it. I was in a daze; how could she have  _ lied  _ to me? She’d sat and listened to my rants and my tactics and watched me feverishly practice without saying a word, all the time whilst competing to beat me. She’d probably worked out every one of my weaknesses and worked to exploit it, she’d probably  _ deliberately  _ come to train with me so she could find out, she must have… must have gotten Lesso to get the information on where I was training from Dovey. I’d worked so hard alongside her, and now--

And now I was  _ wasting it!  _

I panicked and came to myself-- I’d been on autopilot, but I hadn’t been trying, not really. And we were more than halfway through, how could I have been so stupid--

Tedros was still smiling-- we were at Capulet’s ball, he had to-- but as he grabbed my waist to lift me, I saw the reproach in his eyes. He knew I was distracted.

Panicking, I flung myself into the next turns and sequences with as much effort as I could without looking overzealous, praying over and over again that I wasn’t too late, that no one would have noticed my blank expression, let alone Sader--

I would deal with Nicola later. 

For now, I had to dance. 

She tried to catch me as I came offstage, but I wouldn’t let her; barging past her as I made for the dressing rooms. Hester and Tedros both shouted after me, but I ignored them, flinging myself into my dressing room--

“I warned you that you were taking the feud too far.” 

“What are  _ you  _ doing here?” I snapped, wheeling to face Agatha. I wasn’t in the mood to be lectured. 

“I’ll give the flowers to Nicola if you don’t want them.” said Agatha coolly. I glared.

“I don’t  _ need _ two bouquets. And you know I don’t like honeysuckle.”

“The second one isn’t for you.” said Agatha calmly. 

I snatched the first one from her, too rudely for what had been a nice gesture. 

“Who’s it for, then?”

“You shouldn’t be mad at Nicola.” said Agatha, ignoring the question.

“I didn’t ask you for advice.” I snapped. “Besides, she lied to me.”

“It was well-intentioned.” said Agatha simply. 

“You  _ really  _ believe she just wanted to get to know me better?”

“Yes, I do.” said Agatha simply. “Because, unlike you, I know her as a person, not a caricature to have a one-sided feud with.”

“One- _ sided?” _

“At Lesso’s, they think it’s a joke.” said Agatha thinly. “They were very surprised to find out Dovey’s took it so seriously.”

I stared at her.

“Better get down to the stage.” she said. “Else you’ll miss the announcement.”

I sprung to my feet. Yes, the announcement. 

Everything would be fixed after the announcement. 

As you may have guessed by now, it wasn’t.

We all gathered onstage-- Dovey’s dancers standing away from Lesso’s and vice versa, apart from Tedros and Dot, huddled together and whispering furiously, and Beatrix and Anadil, looking solemnly at me, staring straight ahead, and Nicola, staring at her shoes. 

Sader hadn’t moved from his seat, even though the rest of the audience had filtered out-- though our families, the dancers not performing, and Dovey and Lesso themselves were still there. I could see Agatha watching us narrowly from one of the back rows of stalls. Her other bouquet had disappeared. I wondered who it’d been for. 

The dancers whispered nervously among themselves--

Then Sader stood, and all talk evaporated. 

He smiled at us, as if he was unaware of the tension onstage. I didn’t see how he could have been, but perhaps all backstage drama was the same to him. 

I didn’t know if that made me feel better or worse.

He started by commending everyone, from both schools, on their hard work, passion, and dedication. But I more or less tuned him out. There could only be one winner, and we all knew that. And it had to be me. It  _ had  _ to be me--

And then he was saying that despite it being a close call, he was confident in his choice, and his choice was...

Not Nicola.

Not me either. 

I think my jaw dropped. Nicola stared back at me, equally shocked.

Tedros. 

There was a second's pause, but it felt about thirty years. Everyone-- onstage and in the stalls-- stared.

Tedros laughed. 

It echoed and he put his hand over his mouth. 

“Um.” he said. “You’re joking, right? This is a joke.”

“I’m perfectly serious.” said Sader mildly. 

“Oh.  _ Oh.  _ But I--”

Tedros looked around at everyone else, the hint of a smile starting to tug at his mouth, but no one else was smiling. Everyone else was looking at me. Or Nicola.

Tedros looked helplessly back at Sader.

“...er. Sir?”

“Yes?”

“... _ why _ ?”

“Think we’re all wondering that.” muttered Hester. Dot shushed her. 

Sader leaned back, looking surprisingly patient. 

“There was plenty to recommend you. Aside from being technically outstanding, you found time to coach younger students, assist your fellow dancers and all of the staff, from both schools, had lots good to say about you. You also showed an appreciation for rival dancers, even though they were competition, and performed with impressive passion and character.”

Tedros went red.

“Oh. Thanks.”

I just stood there, bewildered.

The whole point had been that it was between me and Nicola.  _ We _ were the frontrunners. The others were only really background characters, compared to us.

How did  _ Tedros _ get it?

Well, he’d just said, but, but--

Nicola came to herself, turned, and hurried across the stage to congratulate Tedros. 

_ Then  _ the stage came to life-- Beatrix and Dovey burst into tears at the same time, Agatha whistled from the back row, Chaddick nearly bowled him over--

I’m ashamed to say that I ran. I ran outside onto the veranda and stood, panting, in the rain, trying to make sense of what had happened. I was probably going to ruin this costume, but it was only Juliet, it was fine material, it was alright…

So. The school was saved. But I hadn’t won.  _ Tedros  _ had. Tedros who I’d sneered at for expressing hope in winning. He’d been right, and I’d been wrong, blinded by my ego--

A wave of guilt hit me, and I looked back, suddenly tempted to run back in and apologise, But Nicola was still in there. 

I put my head in my hands. Everything in me was inclined to still be angry, but I’d  _ seen  _ Nicola (Pippin? I don’t know anymore--) be the first to congratulate Tedros. Surely someone obsessed with the feud wouldn’t do that.

Like I hadn’t. 

And Agatha had believed it. And looking at how Hester and Tedros had reacted, they had, too. 

Believing it would require me to admit that I’d become egotistical and obsessive, and I--

The rain above me stopped abruptly. 

“Everyone’s crying.” said Nicola. “I stole Beatrix’s umbrella. She won’t notice.” she paused. “Are you alright?”

I looked back at her--

Then I burst into tears. 

Nicola grimaced. 

“I know.” she said. “We were idiots, weren’t we?”

“I’ve been such a  _ cow.”  _ I sobbed.

“Oh.” said Nicola. “I thought you were upset about the competition.”

“To hell with the  _ competition!”  _ I spluttered. “Oh, no, I was so unfair--”

Nicola tried for a smile, but it was very wobbly.

“I mean, a fake name must have seemed pretty dishonest, I don’t really blame you for thinking I was trying to trick you, but I just…” she winced, embarrassed, and looked away over the city. “I’d seen you dance before. Agatha took me to one of your shows last year. I was going to introduce myself after, but she told me about the feud and I was worried you might just rebuff me, and I didn’t want you to…”

She stared at her hands.

“You danced Cinderella.” she said quietly. “And you were so pretty.”

I stared at her, my heart in my throat. That had almost sounded like--

“You--” I paused. “Had a crush on me?”

“Who wouldn’t?” said Nicola gruffly. “Half the Lesso dancers and most of the Dovey ones do, apparently. Everyone hates Tedros because he gets to dance with you all the time.”

I grimaced.

“Poor Teddy can never catch a break.”

“He was trying so hard to pretend he wasn’t disappointed by everyone’s non-reaction.” sighed Nicola. “We’ll buy him some expensive champagne or something. Make up for it.”

But my brain had moved onto something else. 

“...The feud was one-sided?”

Nicola pulled a face. 

“We… kind of just thought it was a joke. Hester took it pretty seriously, but we just thought the Twitter stuff was funny. Didn’t realise how deep it ran until the competition was announced, so when I saw you at the studio…”

“You panicked and tried to pretend you had nothing to do with Lesso’s, so I’d like you more.” I supplied. 

Nicola nodded mutely. 

“I’m sorry.” she said finally. “I should have told you, at least before tonight if not right away--”

“I think I’m the one who should be sorry.” I cut her off. “If I hadn’t gotten obsessed with the feud, you wouldn’t have even needed to do it in the first place.”

Nicola shrugged. 

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not.” I insisted. Nicola shrugged and looked awkwardly away.

“Well. It’s over, now. Neither of us won, so our egos can deflate a bit.”

“It’s probably better, that way.” I admitted, even though it pained me to do so. “But I’m never going to hear the end of it from Tedros. Maybe I deserve that.”

Nicola grinned. 

“Maybe you do.”

I paused, looking closely at her. 

“I should have watched you dance.” I said, finally. “I’ve never seen you.”

Nicola shrugged. 

“Not much to look at.”

“Oh, it  _ must  _ be.”

“No, I don’t know, not compared to you…”

“Well, we all know  _ I  _ look like a princess, but I hear you danced Titania last year, so…”

Nicola looked embarrassed, and looked away again.

“We should go back inside.” she said, starting to back off.

“One moment.” I said--

And  _ that  _ is where I’ll leave you.

I certainly wouldn’t be at liberty to tell you if I kissed her. Frankly, that would make me look far too infatuated. Similarly, I couldn’t  _ possibly _ mention if she kissed me back or not. Or if we kissed in the rain for several minutes. Prohibited information, you see. I certainly did  _ not  _ cry again. It was the rain. 

However, I COULD mention that we got fucking  _ interrupted, _ by Agatha doing the  _ exact same thing with Tedros,  _ because she has  _ no taste, and  _ I suddenly realised that I’ve seen them together before, at that club, only this time she looked way too happy about the fact he was still in his stage cost

A travesty, diary. Agatha came up behind me, saw what I was writing, and, following a…  _ brief altercation,  _ the rest of that page was ripped out and  _ eaten _ .

She’s such a  _ brute.  _

And, well-- oh, god, the time. I’ll be right back. I’m hosting, and I need to get ready. God knows my eyes are probably puffier than they’ve  _ ever  _ been and I host a party looking like  _ that,  _ especially if Nicola is coming _ \-- _

* * *

**So,** **_this_ ** **is your diary? You write way more than I thought you would.**

**Well, I’ll fill in the gaps.**

**Hello, Sophie’s diary. This is Nicola, writing from Tedros’s sofa. (Should I say Pippin? I don’t know.)**

**I feel slightly bad doing this, but Sophie is asleep in my lap, everyone else is either heading home or drunkenly passed out, and Tedros and Agatha are aggressively making out in the kitchen, so it’s not as if anyone’s going to stop me.**

**Let’s fill in the gaps…**

  * **I recognised Sophie right away, but I knew she didn’t know me. I’d never been particularly into the feud thing, so I saw an opportunity to end it. Obviously it went wrong before it went right, but I was right in the end, wasn’t I?**


  * She’s so obtuse. THAT THING AT THE PARK WAS A DATE. I TRIED TO TAKE HER ON A DATE. Oh my god. I told her that earlier but she clearly didn’t fill it in. Probably embarrassed she didn’t realise. 


  * I certainly wouldn’t be at liberty to tell you if I kissed her. She kissed me. Frankly, that would make me look far too infatuated. Similarly, I couldn’t _possibly_ mention if she kissed me back or not. Or if we kissed in the rain for several minutes. We did. Prohibited information, you see. I certainly did _not_ cry. It was the rain. That was the excuse she used. It was cute so I let it slide.


  * whatever the hell is going on in the kitchen, i.e Tedros and Agatha. I recognised Agatha at the club, but I didn’t say anything because Tedros looked like he was going to die of fear and even though I don’t like him _that_ much, I figured I couldn’t expose him like that. As I followed Sophie, I actually passed Tedros and Agatha in a practice room off the foyer, and despite my panic, I couldn’t help but stop and listen--



**“Why didn’t you** **_tell_ ** **us no one had come to watch you?” demanded Agatha.**

**“I was going to tell Sophie, but that was when she started screaming at Nicola, so… I gave up. Also…”**

**He stopped.**

**“Also what?” demanded Agatha.**

**“I thought it was okay… since you were here… and I only really wanted you to see--”**

**There was a long pause, then a sudden rustling, and I was halfway to my phone to text Sophie** **_oh my god Tedros and Agatha are making out_ ** **before I remembered we were currently fighting--**

**Then Agatha started laughing.**

**“You’re laughing at me.” said Tedros, anguished. “It’s because I’m wearing tights, isn’t it?”**

**“It’s not-- hah, no, Tedros, it’s not the tights-- I was just impressed we managed to keep this from Sophie for so long--”**

**“It** **_is_ ** **the tights--** **_”_ **

**“It’s not.” insisted Agatha, deadly serious. “The tights are a gift from god.”**

**Even though I couldn’t see them, I could just tell that Tedros’s anguish was barged violently out of the way by his ego. There was another very telling silence, so I decided it was time to move on. Most of what happened next is chronicled above, but I wanted an opportunity to embarrass Agatha.**

  * **Um, I can’t really think of anything else that needs my input. Chaddick’s throwing up, somewhere. No one looks very elegant, at the moment. Sophie looks good, but Sophie always looks good, so no surprises there.**


  * Since this diary is for secrets, I’ll include one of my own; I’m going to ask Sophie to be my girlfriend tomorrow. Officially. It seems so weird to write, doesn’t it? Well, I am. She probably won’t even be able to read this, since I write tiny and she’ll have a hangover when she wakes up. :P



* * *

(two days later)

_ WAIT! I JUST REALISED-- NICOLA WROTE IN MY _ _ DIARY _

Hmm. 

It’s a good thing I like her so much, else I’d be forced to be angry. 

:)

**Author's Note:**

> hmm. this is an interesting departure from literally all the ways I usually write, but I hope you liked it anyway! I thought it gave it more character but feel free to inform me I'm wrong lmao. I won't write like this all the time but it was a fun format for this concept, it meant I didn't have to struggle w technical terms and not knowing anything about dancing (dancers I am soooooo sorry. it's probably completely wrong. sorry.) either way, let me know what you thought!!!


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